


All That I Wanted

by fandomfix, frapandfurious



Series: you'll make your real friends and set yourselves apart [15]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Awesome Phasma, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Getting Together, Light Angst, M/M, cause we're freaking out, did you just freak out?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-04
Updated: 2018-02-04
Packaged: 2019-03-13 16:34:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13574523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandomfix/pseuds/fandomfix, https://archiveofourown.org/users/frapandfurious/pseuds/frapandfurious
Summary: Their eyes met and Hux felt a wave of sadness at just how terrible their timing was. They just had this week left, every minute packed with studying and exams and packing to leave, and then three months apart.*He already knew Hux liked him. What he didn't know is if that meant it was okay to always kiss Hux.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Firstly, this is fandomfix speaking. And let me just say from the bottom of our hearts, we are **so sorry** this took so long to get out. There's no excuse other than that we both were super worried about making sure this part was perfect, because we've known _this was the one_ since the last installment was posted.
> 
> In any case, as you've probably already seen from the tags, that's right. We've done it. We've done the thing.
> 
> We finally changed the pronoun in the title.
> 
> Ok, this note is getting long and i know it isn't what you're here to read, so enjoy!
> 
> \--
> 
> Frap speaking, I don't have much to add! Just, sorry also for taking so long getting this written and thank you for reading it and I hope you enjoy! <3

Before Hux, Kylo and Phasma knew it, the end of the school year was upon them. Exams left little time for the trio’s usual shenanigans: wrecking things in the woods, tormenting first years, sneaking into forbidden parts of the castle, all of it put aside in favor of hours spent in the Slytherin common room or in the library writing papers, practicing spells and cramming for tests.

 

They did these things as they did everything else: together.

 

Other students knew by now which nook of the library to avoid, which cluster of worn-in chairs in the common room the three of them preferred, and so they were left undisturbed with the occasional exception of Mitaka, the persistent little bugger.

 

Sometimes they sat in companionable silence, each focused on their own work. Other times they quizzed each other or went over notes for shared classes together. Even Phasma, who usually preferred to study alone, stuck around more often than not. Perhaps because she knew these were among her last moments with her boys before summer break began.

 

A drizzly May afternoon found them once again in their spot in the library. Parchment and quills and books were strewn across the table. At its center was a bowl of shortbread biscuits to snack on.

 

Phasma had procured the seat by the window where she turned the wide stone window sill into a temporary laboratory. Vials of liquids and containers of herbs were spread out before her as she perfected her potion-making.

 

“If I botch it,” she reasoned, “which we all know is unlikely, but _if_ I do, it’s better I blow out a window than set a shelf of books on fire, right?”

 

And so she got the window seat. Hux and Kylo both knew it was actually so that she could procrastinate by people-watching where the window looked out into a courtyard, but they were both too caught up in their own studies to bother pointing it out, and besides, it’s what either of them would have done too, given the opportunity.

 

Meanwhile, Hux sat across from Kylo at the table, their combined books and papers covering its surface. Kylo was studying for Herbology, Hux for Charms. They’d agreed that after an hour they’d set those aside and work on Defense Against the Dark Arts together.

 

Midway through his third re-read of his notes, Hux glanced up. Kylo was focused down at the book in front of him. He was wearing the cloak Hux had given him. In fact, he had been wearing it almost constantly. “For good luck” he’d told them one morning, and Hux had to pretend to suddenly be very interested in his digging through his bag for a quill in order to hide the way his face flushed.

 

From this angle, Kylo’s dark curtain of hair fell covering half his face, the tips of his ears poking through on either side. He chewed on his bottom lip and his hands absently fiddled with his Slytherin tie, which was unknotted and hung loosely from his neck.

 

The overall picture was painfully endearing, and Hux watched with a fascination that embarrassed him even though no one was paying attention. He quickly ducked his head back down before he could be caught smiling. By Kylo _or_ Phasma.

 

It seemed like not so long ago that he’d been appalled at the very idea of Kylo even sitting with them, let alone studying together, let alone being friends, or…whatever else.

 

Now Hux couldn’t imagine this year without him.

 

What Kylo said to him that day on the hill, _you’re stuck with me_ , never felt truer than sitting there doing something as mundane as studying together. They were as permanent and important a fixture in one another’s lives as their wands.

 

Hux snuck a peek up again and startled when he found a pair of big brown eyes watching him in return. There was an odd look on Kylo’s face, which quickly shifted into alarm when he realized he’d been caught. His cheeks flushed as bright as Hux’s felt just then and he quickly looked back down at his book, unconvincingly pretending to be reading. Hux smirked and did the same.

 

A moment later their knees bumped under the table for what felt like the hundredth time. It was inevitable with their long legs crammed under there. This time, though, Hux didn’t move his away. He cautiously let his legs settle against Kylo’s and felt a wave of relief when Kylo didn’t pull away.

 

They continued studying, or tried to. It was difficult when they both kept sneaking looks at one another when they thought the other wasn’t looking.

 

If Phasma noticed, she didn’t say a word.

 

*

 

Their first day of exams went as well as could be hoped. No meltdowns, no arguments with professors, minimal tears. The stress was far from over but it felt cathartic to end the building dread and just get them over with. A week of this and they’d be done, on to summer break.

 

It was good, really, that Hux was too busy with his studies to dwell on that fact. If he did, he’d feel the little pang of sadness at having to leave his best friends behind and spend three months with his family. It was one thing to correspond with his father in awkward, formal letters, and another entirely to sit across the table from him, knowing what he knew now.

 

On top of that, he worried how it would affect this thing with Kylo. After his talk with Phasma, every moment they were alone together felt charged with potential. He kept overanalyzing every interaction, willing each moment to be _the_ moment to admit his feelings, only to immediately talk himself out of it.

 

But a summer apart could ruin everything before it had a chance to _be_ anything in the first place.

 

Hux turned a corner into the hall leading to the Slytherin dormitories and came to a sudden halt at what he saw. _That is,_ he thought _, if Kylo doesn’t ruin everything by getting bloody_ expelled _first_.

 

Kylo was face to face with Mae Floris, a Slytherin seventh-year. She and her friends were notorious for being an arse to their housemates and an even bigger arse to everyone else.

 

Hux, Phasma and Kylo weren’t exactly beloved among the student body, but they were _mostly_ harmless in comparison.

 

At the moment, Floris was taunting a clearly enraged Kylo, who had his wand clutched tightly in one balled fist. While Hux would love to see what creative curses Kylo had in store for the other student, he wouldn’t let Kylo jeopardize passing this year.

 

“…shouldn’t even _be here_ ,” Floris was saying. “You can prance around in our colors all you want, you’re not a Slytherin. Go crawl back to the Gryffindor dorms. If they’ll even let you in.”

 

Putting on his practiced, deceptively calm demeanor, Hux walked briskly up to the pair and came to stand at Kylo’s side.

 

“I’d be careful if I were you,” he said coolly. It would be a shame if the headmaster found out about you selling smuggled Butterbeer to students. And right before you graduate…”

 

Floris paled. Kylo even looked a little shocked.

 

“How did you know about that?” she hissed.

 

“I have my ways.” Hux smirked. “Now are you going to piss off, or – “

 

Floris began to turn away and Hux thought that’d be the end of it. He’d won; an easy victory, but a satisfying one.

 

But as she turned, Floris mumbled under her breath, “Slimy traitor, you are. Just like your dad.”

 

Hux’s lip curled at the low jab but he didn’t bother reacting. He was used to this by now. Floris and her mates would be graduated and out of his hair soon enough.

 

Kylo, however, went tense beside him.

 

And then he _lunged_.

 

Hux barely caught him with an arm around the middle before he reached Floris.

 

“Kylo, _no!_ ”

 

Kylo was bulkier than him, and had his wand out, while Hux’s was tucked away in his pocket. He could have easily broken free, but he stopped immediately, though he was scowling darkly and could have set Floris ablaze with his glare alone.

 

“Take it back!” Kylo shouted.

 

Floris sneered. “Not a chance.” But for all her tough words, she turned and hurried away.

 

Hux kept his arm across Kylo’s chest until she was out of sight. Even as he stepped back he remained close just in case Kylo got it into his head to go after her.

 

Kylo’s eyes were closed and his fists were still clenched. He took deep breaths, trying to calm down.

 

“Come on,” Hux said calmly, tugging lightly on his arm. “She’s gone. I’ll let you in.” He nodded towards the wall containing the concealed entrance to the common room.

 

Kylo took one more slow breath and slumped a little. He opened his eyes and looked at Hux, expression somewhere between apologetic and frustrated.

 

“You could have at least let me light her robe on fire. Just a little.” Kylo muttered.

 

“And watch you get expelled without me? No way.”

 

Kylo laughed, already looking a bit less like a wire about to snap. Hux grinned.

 

Then what had just happened caught up with him, the way Kylo hadn’t snapped until it was _Hux_ being insulted, not him. Hux shifted awkwardly and swallowed. He ducked his head to hide his reddening cheeks.

 

“Uh…thanks, by the way.”

 

“Hm?”

 

“For standing up for me.”

 

“Well of course. That’s my job, isn’t it?”

 

Hux looked up. Kylo was watching him with a little smile on his face. Smirking, but sincere, with warmth in his eyes that Hux never saw when Kylo looked at anyone but him.

 

Phasma was right: Kylo wasn’t going anywhere. He meant it when he said he’d always be there for Hux. He proved it day after day, ready to throw himself between Hux and anyone who dared to mess with him.

 

And Hux just couldn’t help it.

 

He swept forward before he had so much as a second to overthink it, and he pressed a quick, soft kiss to that smile.

 

It was light, just a brush, and crooked, only hitting about half of Kylo’s mouth, but when he pulled back Kylo’s eyes had gone wide and his mouth dropped open. He looked like he’d just been Stupefied. One hand came up to hover over his lips.

 

“You – “

 

Hux was frozen too, his mind going into panic mode as he realized what he’d just done. He’d wanted to do that for a while. Since the astronomy tower at least, probably longer. But now that he’d done it, he wished he could crawl into a crack in the wall and hide until summer break started.

 

“You –“ Kylo said again, seemingly stuck on that one word.

 

“Y-yes?”

 

“You…kissed me.”

 

“I did,” Hux replied, deceptively calm as his mind scrambled for a half-decent explanation.

 

Kylo frowned and for a moment Hux’s world ground to a halt. Had he mucked it all up with one rash, split-second decision? Should he have waited? Or at least said something, before just _going for it_?

 

Finally Kylo spoke.

 

“I just thought _I’d_ end up kissing _you_ first,” he said, pouting a little. He tried for a grin, nervous and shaky. “Just had to beat me to it, didn’t you?”

 

A breath of relief whooshed out of Hux so fast he felt light headed.

 

“So that means you…me…?” He flinched. _Very smooth_.

 

Kylo’s grin widened.

 

“Yeah. I might sort of…like you. A lot. If it wasn’t obvious.” A pause. “Was it obvious?”

 

Hux laughed. He could have cast a flawless Patronus on the relieved joy he felt just then. Maybe one day he would.

 

“No more obvious than I must have been,” he replied. “I – well. I like you too. _A lot_. If the kiss didn’t make that clear.”

 

They stood there a moment, hands in their pockets and matching grins on their flushed faces.

 

“Cool,” Kylo said finally and Hux laughed again.

 

“That’s all you’ve got? _Cool_? Real quality stuff there. Top notch.”

 

Kylo huffed and tried to look annoyed but he was grinning too hard and it was too infectious for Hux to continue teasing. He couldn’t believe it. _Kylo liked him back_.

 

Phasma was going to go through the castle ceiling when she found out.

 

“So…what now?” Kylo asked, fiddling with the hem of one sleeve.

 

“Well…our timing is _terrible_.”

 

Kylo snorted. “Yeah it sort of is.”

 

“I have to do well on my exams.”  


“Me too…” Kylo stepped closer.

 

Their eyes met and Hux felt a wave of sadness at just _how_ terrible their timing was. They just had this week left, every minute packed with studying and exams and packing to leave, and then three months apart. And they’d both liked each other all along.

 

He reached out blindly until he found Kylo’s hand and grasped it tightly. Maybe Kylo was thinking the same thing, because he gave him a sad smile and laced their fingers together, but nothing more.

 

Hux _wanted_ more. He wanted to kiss Kylo, _actually_ kiss him, for real, and more than once. But that was the problem: he feared if he started he’d never stop.

 

“So uh…what do we do?” Kylo asked.

 

Hux didn’t have an answer, so he just squeezed Kylo’s hand and then let go, turning to let them into the common room.


	2. Chapter 2

Exams had been everything Kylo expected.

Meaning they’d been terrible. A week of trying to remember all the spells and facts he’d learned that year.

And all this on top of him wanting to look at Hux _all the time._

This wasn’t new. But what was new was looking at him and knowing that Hux wanted to do it too. That they _liked_ each other.

Phasma had been right all along.

“You act like that’s news, Ky.” She’d said, two days ago when he’d finally mustered the courage to tell her what happened. He was shocked she hadn’t already heard about it from Hux. But then again, this was the same person who suspected their feelings for _months_ and never let on.

He wasn’t even surprised she knew how to keep a secret. Maybe Hux told her the very same day.

But what Hux did or didn’t tell her wasn’t important right now. What was important was that exams had finally ended. They were over and Kylo was pretty content with how he’d done.

It didn’t matter at this point anyway. Either he would do well or he would fail out in his sixth year. He’d never graduate and become a Hogwarts dropout for all time. He felt okay with that right now.

But that still didn’t solve the Hux dilemma. Or the fact that Phasma had no sympathy for his plight.

“What’s the dilemma _now,_ Ky, for Merlin’s sake? You kissed, he said he likes you, you said you like him. I see no problems!”

Hux had gone inside for a book he’d left in the dungeons, leaving Phasma and Kylo waiting for the carriages that would carry them to the train.

“It’s not that simple, Phas.”

“Why, Kylo? Explain it to me, cause I’ve been waiting for the two of you to get yourselves together for months. What could the problem possibly be?”

She looked at him, her hair held back by a headband, and yet somehow still getting in her eyes. She looked frustrated and she gritted her teeth as if she was trying her hardest not to reach out and shake him.

He knew the feeling. He wanted to shake himself.  But that didn’t change the facts.

“So we kissed. So we said we like each other. Phasma, we’ve lived in each other’s pockets for months now, I’ve been dealing with this crush for ages. And now we won’t see each other for the entire summer.”

He turned away, not able to look at her face. He stared at the castle in the distance, realizing that he could see a figure running their way. Hux must have found his book.

“What if everything cools over the summer? It’s not like we agreed to start dating. It’s not like we made some sort of vow to each other. We kissed. Once. For like a second. Maybe a week was all he needed to change his mind.”

Phasma was quiet next to him. When he snuck a look, he could see her staring at him intently, no longer looking frustrated. Instead she looked sad.

“Listen,” she whispered, also glancing at Hux’s rapidly approaching form. “What did I say about living with ‘what if’? Talk to him. He knows you like him now. Tell him what you’re worried about. Tell him—”

But she cut herself off abruptly.

“You did fine on the exams, Ky. Stop freaking out.”

“Oh, has he finally stopped pretending he’d be alright with being a wizard degenerate his entire life?” Hux said, coming up to them and then moving forward to get a carriage.

“Hey,” Kylo responded, grabbing Phasma’s arm as he rushed to respond to Hux. “I’d make a great wizard hobo.”

“You’ve got the hair for it.” Phasma laughed.

As they settled into the carriage, the conversation moved on. Kylo almost could have forgotten about it. Except his feet were entangled with Hux’s, and Phasma’s hand squeezed his as the carriage moved.

*

Nothing more was said between Phasma and Kylo as they settled into their train car. Kylo hoped Phasma was letting him off the hook. Maybe he could keep living like he had for the last week, smiling at Hux across rooms and blushing every time their eyes met. He could keep acting like nothing had changed.

He should have known Phasma would never let him off the hook that easily.

“Oh damn,” Phasma exclaimed, jolting him out of a daze. A daze he hadn’t even realized involved him staring at Hux’s profile as _he_ stared at the passing scenery.

“What’s the problem?” Hux said turning to look at her. His eyes caught Kylo’s, and he saw a light pink blush start forming on Hux’s face. It took everything in him to drag his eyes away and look at Phasma.

She was standing at the door of the compartment, her fingers already on the handle.

“I just remembered I promised Mitaka I’d come visit him at some point during the ride. I better go do it now before we get any closer to London.”

Hux and Kylo shared a puzzled look.

“I thought you, quote, ‘didn’t want anything to do with that little kid’, end quote.” Hux asked. But one look from Phasma told Kylo all he needed to know. If he hadn’t spoken to Hux by the time they pulled into the station, Phasma would make his summer miserable.

“Don’t worry about what I said,” she waved away Hux’s comments, opening the door and slipping out. “Don’t have too much fun without me, boys. Or do. Whatever suits. Ta!”

The door closed behind her with a deafening snap. Kylo and Hux stared at each other, neither knowing what to say. Hux was probably confused about Phasma’s sudden exit. But Kylo was trying to figure out where to begin.

She was right. He already knew Hux liked him. He already knew that Hux had been okay with kissing him at least once. What he didn’t know is if that meant it was okay to always kiss Hux. To hold his hand and put his nose into Hux’s hair, and share the same air and warmth as Hux at all times.

“Kylo?”

He shook his head. He’d been staring again. Even though the blush on Hux’s face was endearing, he probably should say something before Hux decided he had completely lost it.

He would regret it _then_ , for certain.

“Sorry.” He said, clearing his throat. Hux smiled at him, just a small curving of the lips. Kylo’s heart skipped, and he felt his own cheeks warming.

“Is everything alright? Are you worried about exams that much?”

Kylo took a moment to realize he was referring back to the conversation in the carriage. It took everything in him not to laugh.

“No, um, not at all. I’m still positive I did fine.” He could see Hux gearing up for another response, something sarcastic and intelligent. Just like everything else that made Kylo like him so much.

“But actually,” he continued, watching Hux close his mouth, staring at him. “There was something I wanted to talk to you about.”

Hux’s eyes widened, and a brief glance at his hands showed them clenching into fists in his lap. Kylo looked out the window, unable to make eye contact anymore.

“Yes?” He heard Hux murmur, his voice soft and shaky.

“About last week.” He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t get more words to come out of his mouth. His throat was lodged with everything he couldn’t explain to Hux. His worries about if their attraction was strong enough for a relationship. His concerns that what happened had already left Hux’s mind. The niggling thought that Hux had already decided bad timing meant no start.

“What about it?” He looked at Hux from the corner of his eye, and saw Hux wasn’t looking at him anymore. His head was down and he seemed to be bracing himself. His shoulders tight and face gone from blushing to ashen.

Kylo stared for a moment, now at a loss for what to say. But the sudden silence made Hux look up at him.

“Well?”

“What are we doing, Hux?” He blurted out, the words escaping before they were fully formed. But the effect they had was remarkable. Instead of looking ready for the worst, Hux now looked confused. His shoulders were still tense and his face still devoid of color. Except now there was a furrow to his brow, and Kylo could feel Hux’s ability to problem-solve kicking in.

“What do you mean? Currently, we’re taking the train back to London for the summer.”

Kylo huffed, ignoring the last part of Hux’s comment. Instead he ran his fingers through his hair, not missing the way Hux’s eyes followed the action.

“I mean, we kissed. Last week. At the beginning of exams.”

“Yes,” Hux said slowly. His shoulders were loosening and his hands relaxing, but confusion was still heavy in his voice. “I know, I was there. In fact, I was the one who kissed you. And you said you thought you’d kiss me first. It was a whole thing.”

Kylo released a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding. He smiled slightly, finally looking Hux in the eyes again.

“Right. But then, you said our timing was terrible and we didn’t talk about it for a week. And I realized that might be all there was. Cause you never said anything else and then exams happened and now we’re on our way home and I won’t see you for months.”

Hux didn’t say anything for a moment. He looked at Kylo, before he suddenly got up. He crossed to Kylo’s side and sat in the spot so recently vacated by Phasma. He didn’t touch Kylo, and yet he could feel Hux’s presence like a physical weight.

“Why didn’t you say any of this before. I thought you were completely okay with waiting?”

“I was,” Kylo said, sighing in frustration. “But then we didn’t _talk_ about it. And it has been brought to my attention that that’s a major failing for the two of us. And I’d like to kiss you again. To kiss you at all. I mean.” Kylo glanced down at Hux’s lap, once again distracted by his hands.

“But I also want to hold your hand. And go places with you and no one else. And when I’m smiling like an idiot and people ask me who I’m thinking about, I want to say ‘my boyfriend.’”

He dragged his eyes up to Hux’s, losing himself in the swirls of color. “I don’t know if you want that too, though.”

They looked at each other for a moment, and Kylo wished he could hear Hux’s thoughts. Wished he knew what was racing through the other man’s head. He saw Hux’s eyes move downward, but he didn’t follow them. Instead he focused his attention on the hair he’d spent months wanting to run his fingers through.

“Let me see if I understand correctly.” Hux’s voice was soft, but firm. His brow had smoothed and there was no more confusion lurking in his face. “What you’re telling me is that you like me, as we’d already established. But you were afraid that I didn’t want to kiss you again. Or at least, that I didn’t want to do anything other than that one kiss, right?”

Kylo nodded, wishing it didn’t sound so ridiculous when Hux said it. But it really was the basis of all his worries.

“And, essentially, you want to know whether I want to date you, or if I just want to kiss you and then forget about it over the summer.”

“Yes.” Kylo whispered, wishing he knew where this was going.

Hux nodded to himself. Then he looked back up, a wry smile twisting on his lips.

“Kylo?”

He felt his heart picking up speed, his breathing becoming rapid. He might hyperventilate any moment. But he needed to hear Hux’s next words.

“Hux?”

The other boy smiled at him and took his hand. He loosened Kylo’s fingers from their fist and squeezed them gently.

“Will you go out with me? Will you be my boyfriend?”

Kylo couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across his face. His cheeks hurt as he turned his hand so he could link their fingers together.

“Only if _I_ get to kiss _you_ this time.”

An answering smile spread over Hux’s face. It lightened his features in such a way that Kylo thought he might have a heart attack.

“That could be arranged.”

Hux leaned in, but stopped short of Kylo’s face, allowing him to take the final step. Kylo took one more moment to look at Hux’s soft, smiling face. And then he stopped worrying.

As their lips came together, Kylo brought his hand up to run through the hair he’d spent months thinking about. His other hand caressed Hux’s cheek. He kissed the smile off of Hux’s lips and felt the other boy clench his hands into Kylo’s hair.

His breath calmed, his heart slowed, and he couldn’t help the small sigh that escaped his lips as they kept kissing.

A voice in his head, sounding mysteriously like Phasma, muttered _‘finally.’_

And as Hux pushed closer, breaking the kiss long enough to laugh before diving in again, Kylo couldn’t help but agree.

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hey on [our](http://fandomfix8.tumblr.com) [tumblrs](http://obsessions-and-dreams.tumblr.com)!


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